(sic)

i will remember you as the aftertaste of cigarettes
and soft lips flushed bloomshade in early morning light.
i will remember you as a childhood not lost
as wonder alight in eyes like the river,
glinting amber in warm sun.

i will remember you as night.

i will remember you
as my first shaking terror-rage in the wee hours,
the smell of marijuana lingering on your clothes;
i will remember you as the moon in daylight.
i will remember you as blood on white sheets in a cheap motel
and my first taste of cum.

i will remember you as dreams, as tears, as grudging giggles,
unwashed clothes and angel mouth; i will remember you
as desire, as long lashes and wild hair
and smelly socks. i will remember you as vomit in the parking lot
and kissing you anyway,
as the river in darkness,
as every packet of my oatmeal devoured in munchie-rage.

i will remember you as a kiss
in a dewy field at four a.m. with bare wet feet,
as reckless driving, as singing aloud along the interstate.
i will remember you as procrastination and delinquency.

i will remember you
as if you will never be forgotten,
as if you will live always,
as if love is the only virtue there is.
i will remember you as my first,
as my third, as my only;
i will remember your body shaking against mine
and your skin in golden light.

i will remember you, dirty angel boy,
as reckless love and heroism,
as sex, as anger,
as the moon,
as you–

my mad baby boy,
i will remember you.

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