rhapsody in e (for maddie)

in this ocean with its violent tides and crushing waves
i am my own universe, my arms & elbows planets
swirling at the speed of breath, far-flung
with clutched stars springing free of tight-furled fingers and oh,
i am spreading the sky myself.
eyes closed, i am the pollock of the heavens
(except comprehensible).

& my body the sun rocking back, rocking forth,
reinventing the big bang
each time my foot finds jarring purchase on the dirty floor
where over and over these new gods find their following,
crafting religions/creating faiths
from this amalgam of self-conscious shit-talkers
and soon-to-be alcoholics
but i am oblivious;

this pulse behind my lids,
these words on my lips,
this flush stealing my soul upward
till it coils in my mouth
and dews on my forehead and nose–

i am feeling my way through the dark,
the american kt tunstall.

in this ocean with its violent tides and crushing waves
i am the anti-michael phelps,
content to drift fluid through molecules and atoms
to whatever shore may gather me in its arms:
i am my own universe,
speeding toward shattering in bursts of bright light

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