(e)x-factor

perpetual individual slipshod shards
parade, separate, regroup
like that diamond girl, my very own psycho bitch
she precedes me into every room imbued with you,
speaks before my lips can finish saying goodbye
to one another; she shoves my hands back from your back
and pushes them into my own ribs, she says
no. all you need to know are these bones,
silly boy. she has the answers to everything.

i am not strong enough to push her back
i am too curved to square my shoulders,
and so she bends me to string my spine
with her tightrope
(you always feel like you’re teetering with me
for a reason, i just never told you)
looses one after another swift bolts of bitch
and brat, bastard and bully

i cannot battle this broad but
if i had not followed you onto those stairs
she would have laughed me to sleep
and i am tired of hearing the same song
so i crawled on my knees to pull open the door
and like the miracle of marijuana mysticism
you were there

so i stepped out the door into the maryland moonless
and i wrapped myself around you,
and everything was okay as you giggled madness into my arms

but somewhere behind me, i know she is there,
waiting to tell me why you’ll disappear.

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