edie

redial

you have 5 saved messages and 5 new messages.
play saved messages?

-beep-

message skipped. (x 5)

first new message:

6. had i known your hands were wrenches
crafted to crack bone
i want to say i would have locked my chest–
but we both know i enjoyed the sensation
of your fingers fumbling for the key,
and cracked ribs don’t hurt so much after time.
i only wish you had left me the fragments to examine;
you’re the only one who knows now what i’m made of.

-beep-

night warmth is like satin in this wide land
and the first pull reminds me of the infant suckling
of hesitant lips on heaving flesh.
i can almost taste the cancer coming with you.

7. we plotted self-destruction for the sake of self-esteem.
we changed our minds when the seasons shifted
but i keep the blueprints beneath my tongue–
just in case.

-beep-

my breath is the new gale force wind.
if i exhale forcefully enough, i could generate the westermarck effect;
luckily i fear my own strength too greatly to try.
i take my oxygen in infinitesimal increments instead
to protect indochina; i am ever the hero.

8. ask me again to bend letters
into the shape of you, and i will tell you:
i neglect to take up the task not because you lack visibility,
but because you lack substance.
you were trained to be a shadow,
but you seem to have lost your peter pan.

-beep-

suicide shouldn’t taste this good–
it should not send such sweet shivers up spinal columns.
i could be an earthquake before long,
but i can taste embers now and the box is empty.
damn it.

9. i swallowed cancer and consciousness
till i was large enough for you to see me.
i starved away my essence
till i was small enough for you to hold me.
i waited for your move,
but you lost interest in the game.

-beep-

am i an addict yet?

10. if you think that i’ll let you go…

you’re out of your mind.

-end of messages. press 0 for more options…-

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ubiquitous

asks: location
(though in reality “where are you?”
made its verbal appearance,
snaking across wires
into eyes and ears awaiting)

answer,
darling (i cannot stop that word)
no matter the season day
time month mood
madness or none,
find me in your sky
or sun; find me
in your bed, find me anywhere,
for at all times
in madness (what else is love but?)

here i am
was
will be
(never not) —
always,

here